This is the story of my life as a mother of five children. After graduating in business administration, I began my employment in a large corporation in Germany. However, I soon realized that the hypercompetitive world of business was not for me, and I left for India with a one-way ticket. After being admitted to a master's degree program in environmental management I decided to return. Back at the university I met Luigi and soon after we started a family with the intention of having at least three children. I have always believed that balancing family and work is possible, which is why, except for brief periods following the birth of my children, I've never stopped working. I was confident that by relying on babysitters and daycare, I would be able to continue working while still enjoying my children. The narrative follows the arc of my life, with a series of adventures and misadventures with babysitters, live-in nannies, au pairs and any kind of help, as well as professional sacrifices, existential and marriage crises and the upheaval of the birth of our fifth child when the others had already grown up. I write about how I handled situations that many parents face, such as finding the right person to entrust your children to or deciding between in home childcare and nursery school. I tried to enjoy every moment with my children, even if I was often too focused on surviving to heed all of their requirements. I made certain decisions that I now regret. Some questions I still have: Would it have been better if I had set aside my career and devoted myself entirely to my children? Would they and I have been happier? I still don't have a final answer. Nonetheless, it was a fantastic journey. I would do it again at any time, without any doubt.

Paola Amadei was born in Bolzano (Italy) in 1966. She graduated in business administration from L. Bocconi University in Milan in 1990. After achieving a master's degree in Environmental Management, she got married in 1995 and had five children. She has always worked, first at university and then as a consultant.