Boring Things Dad Says

What Dad Says: ''Have you done your homework?'' What Dad Means: ''What have you forgotten to tell me you need for school?'' Whether you''re looking for a funny stocking filler or a joke gift for a new dad, Boring Things Dads Say is the perfect present for dads in all their forms. As a gift from their young children or from children that have flown the nest, this is for dads of all ages. ''No idea. Ask your mother.'' Full of those classic one-liners every parent and child will recognise, this is the perfect funny gift for dads and will guarantee plenty of laughs from the whole family, and maybe face-palm moment too from ''the old man''! ''What did we end up buying them, again?''

Auteur

Rupert Baxter is a former IT technician turned writer. He lives in Milton Keynes with his long-suffering wife and three children.

Beyond writing, Baxter has a passion for garden landscaping: religiously mowing the lawn every two weeks, planting cuttings stolen from the local garden centre and continuing the ongoing construction of a water feature that he swears is nearly finished.

On Friday nights Baxter performs in a Motorhead tribute band with his two best friends from school. They practice in the garage that Baxter sound-proofed during Lockdown. They have their first gig booked (mates rates) at a 50th birthday.

Boring Things Dad Says is his first book. Baxter has high hopes that it will be a Sunday Times bestseller.

Résumé

**What Dad Says: Have you done your homework?

What Dad Means: Please don't ask me how to do long division.

Dads are curious creatures. They think nothing good happened to music since the time they were teenagers, have strong opinions on the best type of screwdriver, and live in fear of an even scarier creature called Mum. What's worse, they only have a limited vocabulary that they can use to express themselves. And what Dad says and what Dad means are very different things.

Boring Things Dad Says is a user manual for understanding just exactly what your dad is trying to tell you, including:

• Money doesn't grow on trees, you know?
• Is that what they're calling music these days?
• I don't know, go and ask your mother. Whether you're looking for a funny stocking filler or a joke gift for a new dad, Boring Things Dad Says is the perfect funny present for dads of all ages and in all their forms!