Zusatztext Susan Stiffelman! who has double standing to give parenting advice! as a professional therapist and the mother of an exceptional son! has hit the nail on the head twice overher book is filled with practical! real-world ways to minimize the fights and maximize the love. Zusammenfassung I trust Susan Stiffelman with my heart! my family! and my community. She knows that what goes on in my home every day is brutal and beautiful and hard and holy. She understands that while we are raising our children! we are still raising ourselves. Glennon Doyle Melton! #1 New York Times bestselling author of Love Warrior From a family therapist! parenting expert and respected advice columnist for AOL's HuffPost Parents comes a unique approach to parenting that can help eliminate drama! meltdowns! and power struggles. Do you ever find yourself asking . . . • How can you get your children to do their homework without meltdowns! threats or bribes? • How can you have a drama-free morning where the kids actually get out the door in time for school? • How can you better manage your kids' screen time without making them want to hide what they're doing from you? Family therapist Susan Stiffelman is here to help. While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change! Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative! showing you how to come alongside your children to awaken their natural instincts to cooperate! rather than at them with threats or bribes! which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident Captain of the ship your child needs! you will learn how to parent from a place of strong! durable connection! and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up. Drawing upon her successful practice and packed with real-life stories! Parenting Without Power Struggles is an extraordinary guidebook for transforming the day-to-day lives of busy parentsand the children they love. Informationen zum Autor Susan Stiffelman! MFT! is a licensed psychotherapist and marriage/family therapist in Malibu! California. A source of advice and support for families around the world! she is AOL's parenting expert (AdviceMama). Visit ParentingWithoutPowerStruggles.com. ...

8220;Susan Stiffelman, who has double standing to give parenting advice, as a professional therapist and the mother of an exceptional son, has hit the nail on the head twice over…her book is filled with practical, real-world ways to minimize the fights and maximize the love.”

Autorentext

Susan Stiffelman, MFT, is a licensed psychotherapist and marriage/family therapist in Malibu, California. A source of advice and support for families around the world, she is AOL’s parenting expert (AdviceMama). Visit ParentingWithoutPowerStruggles.com.

Klappentext

Family therapist Stiffelman has shown thousands of parents how to be the cool, confident "Captain of the ship" in their children's lives. Based on her successful practice and packed with real-life stories, Stiffelman shares proven strategies and crystal clear insights to motivate kids to cooperate and connect.

Zusammenfassung
“I trust Susan Stiffelman with my heart, my family, and my community. She knows that what goes on in my home every day is brutal and beautiful and hard and holy. She understands that while we are raising our children, we are still raising ourselves.” —Glennon Doyle Melton, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Love Warrior

From a family therapist, parenting expert and respected advice columnist for AOL’s HuffPost Parents comes a unique approach to parenting that can help eliminate drama, meltdowns, and power struggles.

Do you ever find yourself asking . . .

• How can you get your children to do their homework without meltdowns, threats or bribes?

• How can you have a drama-free morning where the kids actually get out the door in time for school?

• How can you better manage your kids’ screen time without making them want to hide what they’re doing from you?

Family therapist Susan Stiffelman is here to help. While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to come alongside your children to awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than at them with threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident “Captain of the ship” your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you’ll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.

Drawing upon her successful practice and packed with real-life stories, Parenting Without Power Struggles is an extraordinary guidebook for transforming the day-to-day lives of busy parents—and the children they love.

Leseprobe
Parenting Without Power Struggles

Chapter

ONE
How to Be the Captain of the Ship Through Calm and Stormy Seas

A frightened Captain makes a frightened crew.

—LISTER SINCLAIR

If you’re a passenger on a cruise ship, it’s kind of cool if the Captain joins you for dinner. But his true value isn’t as a social companion; you want and need him to be the guy who oversees the smooth sailing you signed up for, steering the ship through storms or around icebergs while you blithely sing your heart out at the karaoke bar. You want to be able to depend on the Captain, whether or not you like him or understand everything he’s doing. It’s a hierarchical relationship, with the Captain assuming his rightful role as the one in charge, and the passengers relaxing in the sense of safety that comes from knowing they can rely on someone to competently steer the ship through calm and rough waters.

Many parents believe it’s important that their children see them as their friends. But in truth, children need us to be the Captains of their ships. I’m not suggesting parents should be in control of their kids; I’m suggesting they need to be in charge. There’s a difference. Control—as I’m using the word—is an attempt to compensate for feeling powerless or afraid. Being in charge means that we’re capable of keeping our cool even when the seas are rough—or our kids are pushing our buttons, defying our requests, or melting down.

When our children perceive us as steady and calm—regardless of their moods or behavior—they can relax, knowing they can count on us to get them through the challenging moments of their lives.

Imagine our reaction as passengers if we saw the Captain completely lose his cool upon discovering that his vessel had a leak. Wouldn’t our confidence in him take a nosedive if he ran around the deck screaming, “It can’t have a leak! This is a state-of-the-art ship! We spent fifty thousand dollars getting it checked before leaving port!”

If our Captain were incapable of dealing with reality, it would significantly undermine our sense of security. If he responded to rough waters by running through the ship, shouting out in panic, “Oh, no! I can’t handle this!” we’d be very worried. In the same way, when we refuse to deal with reality as it is—our child’s anger toward his sister or our teenager’s use of alcohol—we leave him without the sense of comfort that comes from knowing he has someone capable of getting him safely through whatever crisis he might be experiencing.

WHEN OUR CHILDREN PERCEIVE US AS STEADY AND CALM—REGARDLESS OF THEIR MOODS OR BEHAVIOR—THEY CAN RELAX, KNOWING THEY CAN RELY ON US TO GET THEM TH…