Strong Mothers, Strong Sons

A timely and empowering book featuring “solid, practical advice for women on how to properly nurture their sons” ( Kirkus Reviews ). From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, M.D., a highly sought after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen--or rebuild--her relationship with her son. Boys today face unique challenges and pressures, and the burden on mothers to guide their boys through them can feel overwhelming. This empowering book offers a road map to help mothers find the strength and confidence to raise extraordinary sons by providing encouragement, education, and practical advice about • the need for mothers to exercise courage and be bolder and more confident about advising and directing their boys • the crucial role mothers play in expressing love to sons in healthy ways so they learn to respect and appreciate women as they grow up • the importance of teaching sons about the values of hard work, community service, and a well-developed inner life • the natural traps mothers of boys often fall into--and how to avoid them • the need for a mother to heal her own wounds with the men in her life so she can raise her son without baggage and limitations • the best ways to survive the moments when the going gets tough and a mom’s natural ways of communicating--talking, analyzing, exploring--only fuel the fire When a mother holds her baby boy for the first time, she also instinctively knows something else: If she does her job right and raises her son with self-esteem, support, and wisdom, he will become the man she knows he was meant to be....

Praise for Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
 
“Solid, practical advice for women on how to properly nurture their sons.”—Kirkus Reviews
 
Praise for Meg Meeker, M.D.
 
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters
 
“Dr. Meeker’s conclusions are timely, relevant, and often deeply moving. No one interested in what girls experience growing up in our culture today—and the impact that parents, especially fathers, have on the experience—can afford to miss reading this book.”—Armand M. Nicholi, Jr., M.D., professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School
 
“Reassuring and challenging . . . a helpful road map for concerned fathers [that] tackles difficult issues.”—National Review
 
Boys Should Be Boys
 
“If you want to raise a boy you’ll be proud of, read Boys Should Be Boys.”—Dave Ramsey, author of The Total Money Makeover
 
“Filled with inspirational vignettes, Boys Should Be Boys empowers parents to stay involved and protect their sons’ innocence. It’s a wonderfully written and eye-opening book—a must-read.”—Neil Bernstein, Ph.D., author of There When He Needs You
 
The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers
 
“Offers practical ways to help you let go of ‘mom guilt’ in order to become a happier, healthier woman.”—Parent & Child
 
“Just about any mom, or dad, can find useful wisdom in this book.”—Associated Press

Autorentext

Meg Meeker, M.D.

Klappentext

A timely and empowering book featuring "solid, practical advice for women on how to properly nurture their sons" (Kirkus Reviews).

From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, M.D., a highly sought after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen-or rebuild-her relationship with her son.

Boys today face unique challenges and pressures, and the burden on mothers to guide their boys through them can feel overwhelming. This empowering book offers a road map to help mothers find the strength and confidence to raise extraordinary sons by providing encouragement, education, and practical advice about

• the need for mothers to exercise courage and be bolder and more confident about advising and directing their boys
• the crucial role mothers play in expressing love to sons in healthy ways so they learn to respect and appreciate women as they grow up
• the importance of teaching sons about the values of hard work, community service, and a well-developed inner life
• the natural traps mothers of boys often fall into-and how to avoid them
• the need for a mother to heal her own wounds with the men in her life so she can raise her son without baggage and limitations
• the best ways to survive the moments when the going gets tough and a mom's natural ways of communicating-talking, analyzing, exploring-only fuel the fire

When a mother holds her baby boy for the first time, she also instinctively knows something else: If she does her job right and raises her son with self-esteem, support, and wisdom, he will become the man she knows he was meant to be.

Leseprobe
Chapter 1

You Are His First Love

(But Never Tell Him That)

The moment that little bundle of pink, squirming flesh slips into our arms, love touches us. We feel it, not just in our hearts, but also on our skin. He is there. Our son. He is the one who will teach us what male love is like in its purest form. He will be devoted to us and care for us as no other man will.

In my practice, I’ve seen something extraordinary, almost spiritual, in the eyes of young mothers who hold their sons for the first time. It’s as though we know we have to hold on tightly, while we can, because deep down, we realize that we can’t keep them. They will grow up, fall in love, and another will take our place. At that point, sons must leave their mothers. We can’t be in the middle of those relationships. Our daughters, on the other hand, don’t need to leave us in the same way; somehow, we can maintain an intimacy with them even when they are grown and have fallen in love. We are connected to our sons by the same deep love we have for our daughters, but there is a different makeup to the mother-son relationship. One day, when he falls for someone, the nature of his bond with us will shift; we will no longer be his first love. And the moment he is born, our deep sensibilities know this.

For your infant son, you represent nurture and safety. You are the giver of joy, food, trust, love, and all good things. The moment he hears your voice and smells your skin he knows he will be taken care of. He intuitively believes that you will not go away, that you will always be there for him.

As he matures into his toddler years, he watches your face to see what you are feeling. He doesn’t watch you because he is interested in you; rather, he watches because he wants to know what you think about him. If he reads your face and concludes that you are happy with him, then he will feel good about life. He needs your attention: He needs to know where you are and what you are doing. When he is unhappy or scared, he may even get mad at you because you are the one who should prevent these negative feelings, and if you haven’t, he expects you to fix it. In his mind, you are his whole world.

Fathers are critical to the healthy emotional, physical, and intellectual developmen…