Conscious Loving

Zusatztext "I consider Gay and Kathlyn to be my teachers. I encourage you to buy this book and use it to the hilt."-John Bradshaw. "Gay and Kathlyn's book offers invaluable insights into the real workings of making a lasting! breakthrough commitment."--Bonnie Raitt! singer-songwriter Informationen zum Autor Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. & Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D. Klappentext Here is a powerful new program that can clear away the unconscious agreements patterns that undermine even your best intentions. Through their own marriage and through twenty years' experience counseling more than one thousand couples, therapists Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have developed precise strategies to help you create a vital partnership and enhance the energy, creativity, and happiness of each individual. You will learn how to: Let go of power struggles and need for control; Balance needs for closeness and separateness; Increase intimacy by telling the "microscopic truth"; Communicate in a positive way that stops arguments; Make agreements you can keep; Allow more pleasure into your life. Addressed to individuals as well as to couples, Conscious Loving will heal old hurts and deepen your capacity for enjoyment, security, and enduing love. Zusammenfassung Here is a powerful new program that can clear away the unconscious agreements patterns that undermine even your best intentions. Through their own marriage and through twenty years' experience counseling more than one thousand couples! therapists Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have developed precise strategies to help you create a vital partnership and enhance the energy! creativity! and happiness of each individual. You will learn how to: Let go of power struggles and need for control; Balance needs for closeness and separateness; Increase intimacy by telling the "microscopic truth"; Communicate in a positive way that stops arguments; Make agreements you can keep; Allow more pleasure into your life. Addressed to individuals as well as to couples! Conscious Loving will heal old hurts and deepen your capacity for enjoyment! security! and enduing love. ...

"I  consider Gay and Kathlyn to be my teachers. I  encourage you to buy this book and use it to the  hilt."-John Bradshaw.

"Gay and  Kathlyn's book offers invaluable insights into the  real workings of making a lasting, breakthrough  commitment."--Bonnie Raitt, singer-songwriter

Autorentext

Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. & Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D.

Klappentext

Here is a powerful new program that can clear away the unconscious agreements patterns that undermine even your best intentions. Through their own marriage and through twenty years' experience counseling more than one thousand couples, therapists Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have developed precise strategies to help you create a vital partnership and enhance the energy, creativity, and happiness of each individual. You will learn how to: Let go of power struggles and need for control; Balance needs for closeness and separateness; Increase intimacy by telling the "microscopic truth"; Communicate in a positive way that stops arguments; Make agreements you can keep; Allow more pleasure into your life. Addressed to individuals as well as to couples, Conscious Loving will heal old hurts and deepen your capacity for enjoyment, security, and enduing love.

Zusammenfassung
Here is a powerful new program that can clear  away the unconscious agreements patterns that  undermine even your best intentions. Through their own  marriage and through twenty years' experience  counseling more than one thousand couples, therapists  Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have developed precise  strategies to help you create a vital partnership  and enhance the energy, creativity, and happiness of  each individual. You will learn how to: Let go  of power struggles and need for control; Balance  needs for closeness and separateness; Increase  intimacy by telling the "microscopic truth";  Communicate in a positive way that stops  arguments; Make agreements you can keep; Allow more  pleasure into your life. Addressed to individuals as  well as to couples, Conscious Loving  will heal old hurts and deepen your capacity for  enjoyment, security, and enduing love.

Leseprobe
ONE
 
Conscious Loving: The Journey in Brief
 
For most of us, relationships are a struggle. We each have a strong inner urge toward conscious loving: toward love relationships that are free of mistrust, disharmony, and unspoken words. We want our relationships to be springboards to higher consciousness and enhanced creative expression. Yet within us also lives an urge toward unconscious loving: we are encumbered by the burdens of our past programming. In this book we will present the results of our exploration of relationship issues over the past twenty years. From our work with over one thousand couples we have discovered the key flaws that produce distortion in relationships, and we have developed a precise, step-by-step program for turning your loving into conscious loving. We have also identified the crucial choice points in the evolution of a relationship that enhance or ruin the opportunities for intimacy.
 
Unconscious loving turns relationships into entanglements which bring out and actually require the destructive habits of each participant. Unconscious loving saps energy and creativity. By knowing the crucial choice points and practicing the skills of conscious loving we describe, a state emerges that we call Co-Commitment. It is a state of well-being which enhances the energy and creativity of each person. In our journey together through this book you will learn the intentions that allow co-commitment to unfold, how to spot and overcome the unconscious patterns that emerge in any close relationship, how to identify feelings and key body sensations, how to tell the microscopic truth, and how to make and keep commitments.
 
The ideas in this book apply not only to couples, but to any close relationship. They work even if you have an uncooperative partner. They work even if you have no current partner. Many of our clients worked out their major issues while single, then went on to form successful, co-committed relationships. A great deal of powerful change can occur when one person in a relationship breaks free. Don’t fall into the trap of waiting to change until your partner is ready. Waiting for others to change is a sign of unconscious loving. Go ahead and make a total commitment to your individual development. However, if your partner is willing to commit to the program, the changes can be rapid indeed.
 
When we first began to “wake up” we found ourselves mired in many patterns of unconscious loving. Both of us came from dysfunctional families, and in adulthood we had re-created many of their patterns in our own relationships. Unless you are very blessed, you are also trapped in some aspect of dysfunctional relationships. We developed the ideas in this book during our journey to co-commitment. Eventually, an exciting new state unfolded, which we call co-creativity. A co-creative relationship is passionate, productive, and harmonious. We turned the energy that would have been wasted through conflict into creative projects such as writing books, giving seminars and lectures, volunteering for activities, and building a happy family. We found that we had access to much more creativity as a partnership than each of us ever had on our own. Now we have applied the techniques to a substantial number of people in therapy and workshops. We have determined to our satisfaction that, with some intense work on themselves, people can move from co-dependence …