For 16-year-old Ellie, beach volleyball camp is a disaster until she''s paired with Sierra, an athletic prodigy who teaches her that volleyball...and love are about taking the right shot in this sporty sapphic romance. Ellie dates the Right Guy, says all the Right Things, and acts the Right Way to avoid being ridiculed for her autism. When that Right Guy unceremoniously dumps her right before they''re supposed to go to beach volleyball camp together, Ellie''s perfectly curated world comes crashing down and she''s labeled the boring, weird girl.; Desperate to regain her good reputation (and yeah, sure, the boy...), Ellie goes to Camp SMASH, which is nothing like she expected. There, she''s paired with Sierra, a mysterious, standoffish volleyball legacy who makes Ellie''s quest to get her boyfriend back even more complicated... Dive into this sporty summer romance full of the classics: a ragtag group of friends, a tense game of capture the flag, and a swoon-worthy sapphic love story.

Autorentext

Birdie Schae had big dreams from the moment she was born in a small town in Belgium. Now an author and a student in the Netherlands, she spends most of her time writing love stories, analyzing all sorts of fiction through tears, or listening to a truly concerning amount of music. Smash or Pass  is her debut novel. You can find Birdie online as @birdienotabird or at birdieschae.com.

Klappentext

For 16-year-old Ellie, beach volleyball camp is a disaster until she's paired with Sierra, an athletic prodigy who teaches her that volleyball...and love are about taking the right shot in this sporty sapphic romance.

Ellie dates the Right Guy, says all the Right Things, and acts the Right Way to avoid being ridiculed for her autism. When that Right Guy unceremoniously dumps her right before they're supposed to go to beach volleyball camp together, Ellie's perfectly curated world comes crashing down and she's labeled the boring, weird girl. 

Desperate to regain her good reputation (and yeah, sure, the boy...), Ellie goes to Camp SMASH, which is nothing like she expected. There, she's paired with Sierra, a mysterious, standoffish volleyball legacy who makes Ellie's quest to get her boyfriend back even more complicated...

Dive into this sporty summer romance full of the classics: a ragtag group of friends, a tense game of capture the flag, and a swoon-worthy sapphic love story.

Leseprobe

1. Never Get in a Car with Your Boyfriend

Whenever I enter my therapist’s office, she makes me rate my emotions on a scale from one to ten. It can be about anything—­from my level of stress about a certain situation to how happy I’ve been feeling lately—­and though I thought it was too childish for a sixteen-­year-­old at first, I’ve grown used to the question over time. So much that even right now, weeks away from our next appointment, I can hear her voice in my head.

On a scale from one to ten, how upset does this make you?

The answer comes to me easily, but it can’t possibly be true. Because something tells me that my boyfriend breaking up with me isn’t supposed to feel like a mere four.

“Listen, Ellie, I just don’t think this is going to work,” Daniel tells me while I sit there, frozen in his passenger seat, repeating his words in my head for the fifth time. I wait and wait and wait for my heart to break, for that horrible, sinking feeling in my chest, but even as the houses and lampposts outside the car keep flashing by, nothing ­­really happens. The world around me doesn’t come crashing down. I don’t start crying. But Daniel?

He sighs.

“This doesn’t have to be some big deal, you know,” he says, looking at me expectantly, but I still can’t will my lips to part.

See, this is exactly why I have to stick to my rules at all times. Those seven simple bullet points I wrote down right before the start of high school are the whole reason people in this town like me, and they have never once failed me since I began to follow them religiously three years ago. If I had just stuck to them like I normally do, I wouldn’t be in this situation at all because of Rule #1: Try to avoid one-­on-­one conversations and stay in groups as much as possible. That way, before you react to something someone says, you can quickly look around and make sure you act the way you’re expected to.

I knew better than to get into this car all alone with Daniel, but . . . I don’t know. I guess he was so insistent on driving me to Blake’s party that I let myself be naive for a second, wanting to believe that one little exception on our six-­month anniversary couldn’t hurt.

I was wrong.

“Just because I’m breaking up with you doesn’t mean we have to start acting all weird,” Daniel continues. “We can just go to this party and explain to our friends that we decided to end things, and then we can move on with our lives like nothing ever happened between us.” He shrugs. “I mean, I see no reason for us to stop being friends.”

What he’s saying makes perfect sense, except for the fact that Daniel and I have never actually been friends. We were strangers who hung out with each other because of our newly intertwined friend groups, and then, exactly six months ago, we started kissing each other. Nothing less, nothing more.

I don’t say any of that, though. I don’t think Daniel would appreciate me disagreeing with him on whether we have a friendship we can return to or not. The only issue is that I don’t know what he does want to hear right now, even though I did follow Rule #2: Before you meet up with people, take some time to prepare yourself for possible scenarios.

I spent over half an hour making sure I’d know what to do in case any of the situations I could think of become a reality tonight. I prepared myself for my friends getting a little too drunk and practiced what to say if we play spin the bottle and I am expected to kiss someone who isn’t Daniel. I even looked up what to do if my brother and my best friend start dating, even though one thing is for sure: That will never happen, no matter what Nina believes.

The possibility of my boyfriend breaking up with me, however? It never once crossed my mind.

There’s not much time left to dwell on how incredibly unprepared I am for this, though. We turn another corner in silence, now less than a minute away from Blake’s party, and since there’s no way for me to subtly pull out my phone and read a detailed guide to breakups right now, I have no choice but to say the first thing that comes to mind.

“If that’s what you want, then I guess we should just . . . stay friends.”

My words have barely had time to turn cold in the air between us when the car comes to a stop. Daniel turns to me immediately, scanning my face with those blue eyes I’ve grown familiar with over the past few months. There’s a frown between his brows, and he blinks once, twice, thrice before finally seeming to realize that I’m not going to burst into tears or slap him in the face.

He swallows, his jaw set. “Wait, so . . . no hard feelings between us, then?”

“No hard feelings,” I repeat with a singular nod. For a moment, I think that maybe we should shake hands on it, make it official, but I ultimately decide against it. Only a few seconds later, the two of us leave the car—­and each other—­behind.

Teenage life usually follows a pattern, and as I enter Blake’s party, I’m glad the rest of the night seems to be falling right into it. Dozens of groups have already claimed their spots across the ro…