Do you feel stuck in your life? Do you wonder why? Does something seem wrong, but you can't put your finger on it? In The Lies We Tell Ourselves, psychotherapist Jon Frederickson reveals the ways we fool ourselves and how to get unstuck. Through dozens of stories and examples, he shows how the apparent cause of our problems is almost never the real cause. In addition, he reveals what we really fear and how to face it. In these pages you'll discover . How to identify the lies you tell yourself . How to face the truths you have avoided . Why you stay with someone who isn't good for you . How to stop saying yes when you really mean no Although we may use falsehoods to escape pain, clinging to our fantasies actually becomes the source of greater suffering. This book shows how to create a better life by letting go of our lies and facing reality. It also demonstrates that therapy is not merely a chat; it is a relationship between two people devoted to facing the deepest truths of our lives so we can be healed. "This book is a revelation-a gift to all who come across it. I can't recommend this book highly enough!" -Patricia Coughlin, PhD, author of Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy "I wholeheartedly recommend this book to everyone who wants to see what therapy is really about or who wants to increase the value of the psychotherapy they engage in or offer to others." -Peter Fenner, PhD, author of Radiant Mind and Natural Awakening

Autorentext

From the age of six years old, Jon Frederickson grew up working in his father's blacksmith shop in Clear Lake, Iowa. He graduated from college and became a professional musician, playing the French horn. After having received the help of a therapist, he decided to become one. While performing music at night, he went to graduate school during the day and became a social worker and psychotherapist. He worked at a mental health clinic, a counseling center, and later entered private practice. To further his training, he applied to enter a psychoanalytic institute. But he was informed that they were not sure he was analyzable, due to the traumas in his childhood. He was surprised that he was being evaluated in terms of what had been done to him in the past, not what he had done with his past. He realized how important it is that no person be viewed in terms of what is impersonal, what has been done to us. Instead, we should be judged on what is personal, what we were able to do with the cards we were dealt. He had a new appreciation for the acts of will by which we create ourselves and give meaning to our lives. And this experience gave him new appreciation for the role of hope in life and therapy. As a faculty member of the Washington School of Psychiatry, he has taught psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers. Currently, he teaches mental health professionals around the world, showing videotapes of his own work. Before writing this book for the general public, he authored two books and over thirty articles on psychotherapy. His previous book for therapists was the award-winning Co-Creating Change: Effective Dynamic Therapy Techniques.